He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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