I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
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