wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Randomize
