so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
