Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Randomize