So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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