im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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