I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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