I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
