I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
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