Screwed.edu
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Damn victory sex feels great
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Randomize
