I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
Farmville is her only friend.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
Randomize
