Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Randomize
