You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Randomize
