Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Randomize
