There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
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