I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
