so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Randomize
