i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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