Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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