Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
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