i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
