i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Randomize
