so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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