Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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