i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
