i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
How external is "for external use only"?
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
Randomize
