I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize
