Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
