Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
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