His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
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