That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
