im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize
