The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
