You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
