I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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