Rock
Scissors
Fuck
stop calling my apartment porn island.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
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