guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
