That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
