i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
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