What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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