nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
