so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
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