I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
