wat bout pragnant strippers??
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Randomize
