how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
Randomize