Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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