I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Randomize