I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
