I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
