She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
