Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
