So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
