is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
