38 yer olds are good kisserssss
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Randomize
