Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
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