I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
