Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize
