I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize
