Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
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