i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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