I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize