My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
