I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Randomize
