my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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