I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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