Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
